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THE WOULD-BE
PROXY FATHER
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family.
Çocuk sahibi
olamıyorlardı. Donör baba kullanmağa karar verdiler. [surrogate
= vekil, yerine geçerliği olan...
surrogate mother
= taşıyıcı anne]
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his
wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now; the man should be
here soon."
"Çıkıyorum,
sevgilim, adam az sonra burada olur!" [proxy
= başkasının adına ve yerine hareket etme yetkisi verilmiş olan]
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a
sale.
Tesadüf bu ya, az sonra gezici bir bebek fotoğrafçısı kapıyı
çaldı.
Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've
been expecting you."
"Açıklamanıza gerek
yok," diye sözünü kesti Bayan Smith mahçubiyetle, "sizi
bekliyordum."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good.
Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and
have a seat"
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
Az sonra, kadın
mahçubiyetten yüzü kızararak sordu: "Pekala, nereden
başlıyoruz?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one
on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the
living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Herşeyi bana
bırakınız. Genellikle iki kez küvette, bir kez kanapede, birkaç
sefer de yatağın üzerinde denerim. Oturma odasında halının
üstünde de keyifli oluyor. Dilediğinizce yayılabilirsiniz
orada..."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for
Harry and me!"
"Küvette? Oturma
odasında halının üstünde?? Tevekkeli Harry ve ben bu işte
başarısız olduk!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time.
But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six
or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"Eğer çeşitli
farklı pozisyonlarda yedi sekiz açıdan atış yaparsam sonuçtan
çok memnun kalacağınıza eminim. ("shoot" = 1. atış; 2. fotoğraf
çekimi)"
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Aman Allahım!
Müthiş bir sayı!"
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love
to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be
disappointed with that."
"Walla,
hanımefendi, bizim işimiz aceleye gelmez. Yoksa, ben de beş
dakikada girip çıkayım isterdim, ama eminim ki bu sizi tatmin
etmezdi."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
"Ah, bilmez miyim,"
dedi Bayan Smith, kendi kendine.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio
of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he
said.
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you
consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get
the job done right. People were crowding around four and five
deep to get a good look."
İşi doğru dürüst
yapabilmek için sonunda onu parka götürmek zorunda kaldım.
İnsanlar çevremizde dört-beş sıra halinde toplanmış bizi
seyrediyorlardı.
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with
amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours,
too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling -- I could
hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush
my shots."
Durmadan çığlık atıp bağırıyordu. Doğru dürüst konsantre
olamıyordum. Hava kararmağa başlayınca atışlarımı (=
çekimlerimi) acele yapmak zorunda kaldım.
"Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I
just had to pack it all in," continued the photographer.
"Sonunda sincaplar
takımlarımı ufak ufak kemirmeğe başlayınca, bütün takımlarımı
topladım," diye devam etti fotoğrafçı."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on
your, uh ...equipment?"
Bayan Smith öne
doğru eğilerek, "Yani sincaplar, şeyyy, takımlarınızı fiilen
dişlemeğe mi başlamışlardı?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my
tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Evet, bu bir
gerçek, madam. Şimdi hazırsanız, tripodumu kuracağım ve işimize
hemen başlayabiliriz." [Olur da bilmeyen varsa, "tripod" =
fotoğraf makinesinin üzerine yerleştirildiği üç bacaklı sehpa.]
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's
much too big to be held in the hand very long."
"Evet, hanımefendi;
benim Canon'umu bir tripod üzerine yerleştirmek zorundayım.
Benim Canon uzun süre elde taşınamayacak kadar iridir..." [Canon
= ünlü Japon fotoğraf makinesi markası... canon = askeri top]
Mrs. Smith fainted!
Ve Bayan
Smith oracıkta düşüp bayıldı...
SUPER
!!
IS THAT ONE WORD
OR TWO ?
In a small
town, an elderly couple had been dating each other for a long time.
dating each other =
birlikte çıkıyorlardı, flört ediyorlardı...
At the
urging of their friends, they decided it was finally time for
marriage.
at the urging of smb
=
teşvik ve "hadi yapın artık" çağrısı/çağrıları üstüne...
Before the
wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation
regarding how their marriage might work.
They
discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the
old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their
physical relationship.
to broach the subject of =
konusunu açmak, konuyu masaya getirmek...
"How do you
feel about sex?" he asked, rather trustingly.
"Well," she
said, responding very carefully, "I'd have to say... I would like it
infrequently. "
The old
gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then over his glasses, he looked
her in the eye and casually asked:
"Is that one
word or two?"
casually
=
Burada "teklifsizce" anlamından çok "sanki anlamamış veya önem
vermiyormuş havası vererek; sanki özel bir soru değilmiş gibi
yaparak" nüansı taşıyor... [Hani, olmaz ya; olur da fıkrayı
İngilizce eksikliği yüzünden anlamayan çıkarsa: "I would like it
infrequently." ve "I would like it in
frequently."
Yabancı XXX
Fıkra:
Türkçe Açıklamalı
İngilizce XXX Fıkralar, World's
Funniest XXX Jokes, Kesinlikle Dünyanın En Komik XXX Fıkraları,
Doç.
Dr.
Yalçın
İzbul,
"Practical
English
For
Turks"
Copyrighted
2001-2008
THREE
"KNOTS" !!
An old retired
sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for
old times’ sake.
for old times' sake
=
eski günlerin anısına, eski günlerini hatırlamak için...
He hires a
prostitute and takes her up to a room. He’s going at it as best as he
can for a guy his age.
for a guy his age
=
o yaşta olan bir adam için...
The old sailor
asks, “How am I doing?”
The prostitute replies, “Well, sailor, you’re doing about three knots.”
“Three knots?” he replies, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She says, “You’re knot hard, you’re knot in, and you’re knot getting
your money back.”
NOT:
Fıkra "knot" ve "not" sesdeşliği üzerine kuruludur. "Knot" bir
denizcilik terimi olarak "bir deniz mili" anlamına gelir...
THE WHEELBARROW
POSITION
After hearing a
couple’s complaints that their intimate life wasn’t what it used to be,
a sex counselor suggests they vary their position. “You should try the
wheelbarrow,” the counselor says. “Lift her legs from behind, and off
you go.”
their intimate life
= kendi "özel" hayatları... sex
counselor = cinsellik danışmanı...
to vary their position =
"pozisyonu" değiştirmeleri...
wheelbarrow = el arabası...
"Eşinizin bacaklarını arkadan kavrayıp kaldırınız ve haydi yola
koyulunuz."
The husband is raring to try it.
= uygulamaya hazırlanıyor...
“Well, OK,” the hesitant wife agrees, “but on two conditions. First, if
it hurts, you have to stop right away, and second, you have to promise
we won’t go past my parents’ house two streets down.”
"Peki, tamam," der bu işe pek aklı yatmamış olan (tereddüt içinde olan)
karısı: "Ama iki şartım var. Birincisi, eğer acırsa hemen duracaksın.
İkincisi, söz ver bana; iki sokak aşağıdaki annemlerin evinden öteye
geçmek yok."
.SÜPER
İNGİLİZCE EĞİTİM SETİ.
KPDS
HAZIRLIK SETİ -- EN İYİSİ.
TIKLAYINIZ... Ayrı Pencere Açılacaktır
JUST A PINCH PEPER WORKS WONDERS
Bir Tutam Karabiber
Mucizeler Yaratıyor !!
A man and a
woman are riding next to each other in first class on a plane. The woman
sneezes, then takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The
man isn’t sure he saw what she did, and decides he is probably
hallucinating.
riding next to each other
= yanyana yolculuk ediyorlar...
to sneeze = apşırmak... tissue
= kâğıt mendil... to wipe
= silmek, oğuşturarak silmek...
WOW
!!
A few minutes
pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it
between her legs. The man is about to go nuts. He can’t believe that
he’s seeing what he’s seeing.
to go nuts = kafayı
yemek...
A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue
and gently wipes it between her legs yet again.
yet again = bir kez
daha...
The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and
says, “Three times you’ve sneezed, and three times you’ve taken a tissue
and wiped it between your legs! Are you trying to drive me crazy?”
has finally had all he can
handle
= artık dayanamayacağı bir noktaya gelmişti ("daha fazlasının üstünden
gelemezdi" kavramından)...
Are yopu trying to drive
me crazy?
= Beni delirtmeğe mi çalışıyorsunuz?
“I’m sorry to have disturbed you, sir,” she replies. “I have a rare
condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm.”
a rare condition
= az rastlanır / seyrek görülür bir tıbbî durum (= rahatsızlık,
hastalık)...
The man, now feeling badly, says, “Oh, I’m sorry. What are you taking
for it?” Adam
şimdi kendini kötü hissediyordu (= Söylediklerinden pişman olmuş,
utanmıştı). "Nasıl bir ilaç alıyorsunuz bunun için?"
The woman looks at him with a coy smile and says, “Pepper.”
Kadın
mahçup bir gülümsemeyle (= nazlı ve uğrun uğrun bakarak, nüansı ile):
Karabiber kullanıyorum, efendim.
THINGS WILL CHANGE IN 12 MINUTES'
TIME
Herşey 12 Dakika Sonra Çok
Farklı Olacak !!
A policeman was
patrolling a local parking spot that overlooked a golf course. He drove
by and noticed a couple inside with the interior dome light on.
to patrol = devriye
gezmek... overlooking =
yukarısında, yukardan gören...
interior dome light on = iç tavan lambası yanıyor durumda...
In the driver’s
seat there was a young man reading a computer magazine, while in the
backseat was a young woman knitting.
backseat
= arka kanape... to knit =
örgü örmek...
Recognizing this
as unusual, the officer walked up to the driver’s window and tapped on
the glass, asking the man his name and what exactly he was doing.
tapped on the glass
= camı tıklattı...
The man looked
up, cranked the window down, and said, “My name is John and that’s my
girlfriend in the backseat.”
tcranked the window down=
kolunu çevirerek aşağı indirdi...
“OK, so what are
you doing?” asked the officer.
“What does it
look like?” John answered. “I’m reading a magazine.”
Pointing towards
the young lady in the back seat, the officer asked, “And what’s she
doing?”
John looked over
his shoulder and replied, “What does it look like? She’s knitting, sir.”
“And how old are
you?” the officer asked John.
“I’m 25,” John
replied.
“And how old is
she?” asked the officer.
John looked at
his watch and said, “Well sir, in 12 minutes she’ll be 18.”
ANYONE WHO HAS NOT SEEN IT?
Görmeyen Kalmış mı ki!
The priest in a
small Irish village loved the cock and ten hens he kept in the henhouse
behind the church. But one Saturday night the cock went missing! The
priest knew that cock fights happened in the village so he started to
question his parishioners in church the next morning.
priest =
papaz... cock =
1. horoz; 2. (argo) penis (dolayısıyla, aşağıdaki bütün yanlış
anlamalar)... hen =
tavuk... went missing =
kayboldu...
parishioners =
bir papazın görev yaptığı mahalle, semt veya köyde oturan ve o kiliseye
devam eden kişiler... cock =
1. horoz; 2. (argo) penis (dolayısıyla, aşağıdaki bütün yanlış
anlamalar)... hen =
tavuk... went missing =
kayboldu..
During Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?" All
the men stood up.
congregation =
cemaat, âyin için kilisede o sırada bulunanlar...
"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"
All the women stood up.
"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock
that doesn't belong to them?" Half the women stood up.
"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?"
All the nuns, three altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up. "
nun =
rahibe... altar boy =
"altar" mihrap veya tapınaklarda ise sunak karşılığıdır. Âyinler
sırasında papaza yardımcı olan çocuk veya gençlere "altar boy" adı
verilir.
Yabancı XXX
Fıkra:
Türkçe Açıklamalı
İngilizce XXX Fıkralar, World's
Funniest XXX Jokes, Kesinlikle Dünyanın En Komik XXX Fıkraları,
Doç.
Dr.
Yalçın
İzbul,
"Practical
English
For
Turks"
Copyrighted
2001-2008
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