Yabancı XXX Fıkra: Türkçe Açıklamalı İngilizce XXX Fıkralar, World's Funniest XXX Jokes, Kesinlikle Dünyanın En Komik XXX Fıkraları,

Doç. Dr. Yalçın İzbul, "Practical English For Turks"

   Copyrighted 2001-2014

 WEBSİTE     TESTLER     KARİKATÜR     EĞLENCE

 
ingilizce seti süper

fikralar     .SÜPER İNGİLİZCE EĞİTİM SETİ.   fikralari

ingilizce seti süper

TIKLAYINIZ... Ayrı Pencere Açılacaktır

 
 

 

 

yabancı xxx fıkralar

 

XXX -- FIKRA -- 06

 

 

xxx fıkrası xxx fıkrası xxx fıkrası

yabancı xxx fıkralar

WHEN WILL MEN EVER LEARN !!

Erkekler Hiç Öğrenemeyecek mi??

Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.

Hasta dul babası ölünce servet bir miras alacak olan Charles, bunun tadını birlikte çıkarabilmek için bir kadına ihtiyacı olduğuna karar verdi... (En alttaki nota bknz.)

Going to a singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.

singles' bar = bekar barı (Tabii bizdeki gibi sadece erkeklere mahsus ağlama meyhanesi değil)... spotted = gördü... to take someone's breath away = (hayran bırakarak) nefesini kesmek... (boğazını sıkarak değil... Boğazını sıkarak öldürmek = to strangle / st-RÆNG-l)...

"I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

I'm just an ordinary man, but... = Ben sıradan bir adamım, ama...

The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became his stepmother.

Kadın Charles ile birlikte evine gitti ve ertesi gün onun üvey annesi oldu!!

Linguistic Note:

(to be) due + mastar (infinitive) = --cek, --cak; gelecek zaman belirtir

due to + ad = --den dolayı (= because of)

The ship is due to arrive tomorrow. = Gemi yarın geliyor, gelecek, gelmiş olacak...

Due to a storm, it has been delayed. = Bir fırtınadan dolayı gecikmiş bulunuyor.

 

xxx fıkra

 

THE FATHER OF MANY

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.

had his collar on backwards = yakasını ters takmış... priest = papaz, din adamı...

The man, who was a priest, said "I am a Father".

The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that".

The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many."

looked up from his book = bakışlarını kaldırdı, kitabı bırakarak...

The boy said, "My Dad has four boys, four girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way."

The priest getting impatient said "I am the Father of hundreds," and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly...but on leaving the bus he leaned over and said: "Well, maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar".

leaned over = o tarafa doğru eğilerek... pants = Amerika'da pantolon; İngiltere'de külot...

 

xxx fıkra

 

SOUND ADVICE FOR WOMEN !!

Kadınlar İçin Sağlam Öğütler !!

1. It is important to find a man who works around the house, cooks and cleans, and helps care for the kids, and who makes money.

2. It is important to find a man who loves to spend money on you, and show you a good time.

3. It is important to find a man who's good in bed and who loves to have sex with you.

4. It is important that these three men never meet.

sound = 1. ses... 2. (sıfat) sağlam, güvenilir, bozukluğu yada kusuru yok... ÖRNEK: A man of sound character = sağlam, güvenilir karakterli adam...

 

xxx fıkra

Yabancı XXX Fıkra: Türkçe Açıklamalı İngilizce XXX Fıkralar, World's Funniest XXX Jokes, Kesinlikle Dünyanın En Komik XXX Fıkraları,

Doç. Dr. Yalçın İzbul, "Practical English For Turks"

   Copyrighted 2001-2014

xxx fıkra

 

USING THE SPOON

A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow.

knocked... etc. = dirseğiyle çarparak düşürdü...

A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table.

set it on the table = masaya koydu yerleştirdi...

The diner was impressed. "Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets?"

diner = yemek müşterisi... was impressed = çok etkilenmişti, çok beğenmişti...

The waiter replied, "Yes. Ever since we had that efficiency expert in; he determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen."

efficiency expert = verimlilik uzmanı (ABD'de bir meslek olarak mevcuttur)... save trips to... etc. = mutfağa kadar giderek zaman kaybetmekten tasarruf ediyoruz...

The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?"

intrusion /in-TRU-jın/= araya girme, rahatsız etme, özel hayatına müdahele, fuzuli işgal, davetsiz girme... intrusion upon smb's time = birisinin zamanını alma, işgal etme... string = ip, sicim...

The waiter replied, "Yes, we all do. Seems that the same efficiency expert determined that we spend too much time washing our hands after using the men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string, go, and return to work. Having never touched myself, there is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time."

men's room = erkekler için tualet... to go = (burada kastedilen) çişini yapmak...

"Wait a minute," said the diner, "how do you get your penis back in your pants?"

"Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon."

 

xxx fıkra

 

MISFORTUNE NEVER COMES SINGLY

Felaketler Asla Teker Teker Gelmez

It's Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So John heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.

"Hello?" says a little girl's voice.

"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says John. "Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Fred."

After a brief pause, John says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Fred, honey!"

"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"

"Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Fred that my car's just pulled up outside the house."

to pull up = Motorlu taşıtlar için, "frene basıp durmak"... Sanırım, eskiden at arabalarında, hayvanın "dizginlerine asılıp durdurmak" kavramından gelmiş olsa gerek...

"Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."

"And what happened?"

"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."

trip over the rug = kilime ayağı takılıp düşmek...

"Oh, my God! What about Uncle Fred?"

"He jumped out of bed too, and he was all scared, and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too."

There is a long pause.

"Swimming pool? Is this 555-3097?"

= Yüzme havuzu mu dedin? Orası 555-3097 değil mi?

 

xxx fıkra

 

EXTREME SEXUAL EXHAUSTION

The teacher gives the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with an appropriate note).

assignment = ödev... no excuses ... etc. = hastalık dışında hiçbir mazeret kabul edilmeyecek... with a medical certificate = doktordan raporla... immediate family = yakın aile çevresi...

A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"

smart-ass = "smart", biliyorsunuz, "zeki, kafası hızlı ve iyi çalışan" demektir. Buradaki bileşimi ise, "uyanık" (argo olumsuz anlamı ile) şeklinde çevirebilirsiniz. Fazla kibarca bir anlatım olduğu söylenemez... pipes up = diye öttü...

The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."

  WOW !!

 

xxx fıkra

ingilizce seti süper

fikralar     .SÜPER İNGİLİZCE EĞİTİM SETİ.   fikralari

fikralar     KPDS HAZIRLIK SETİ -- EN İYİSİ.   fikralari

süper fıkralar

TIKLAYINIZ... Ayrı Pencere Açılacaktır

xxx fıkra

 

HOW THE BISHOP DIED

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, he decided to purchase one and enter him in the races.

bishop /-şıp/ = piskopos... preacher /PRİ-çı/ = vaiz... to raise money = bağış toplamak, para bulmak... fortune = servet... to purchase /PÖ:-çis/ = satın almak...

However at the local auction the going prices for horses was so steep the Preacher ended up buying a Donkey instead

auction = müzayede, açık arttırma... steep = (fiat için) sert, yüksek... Kayalıklar filan için: dik, sarp... ended up... etc. = Sonunda bir eşek satın aldı...

He figured that since he had it he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise the Donkey came in third. The next day the racing columns carried this headline:

"PREACHER'S ASS MAKES A SHOW"

figured = thought... racing columns = atyarışları sütunları... headline = başlık, manşet... ass = 1. eşek (donkey); 2. kıç... Dolayısıyla, Gazetedeki Manşet = Vaizin eşeği şov yaptı... Mecazi olarak: "Vaizin kıçı şov yaptı"...

The Preacher was so pleased with the Donkey that he entered it in the race again. He won again and the columns read:

"PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT"

Gazetedeki Manşet = Vaizin eşeği en önde... Mecazi olarak: Vaizin kıçı en önde...

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity he ordered the Preacher not to enter the Donkey in another race. The headline read:

"BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS"

read = diye yazdılar ("diye okunuyordu" kavramından)... Gazetedeki Manşet = Piskopos vaize fırça attı... Mecazi olarak: Piskopos vaizin kıçını kaşıdı...

This was too much for the Bishop and he ordered the Preacher to get rid of the animal. The Preacher decided to give the Donkey to a nun in a near-by convent. The next day the headline read:

"NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN"

Gazetedeki Manşet = Kentteki en iyi eşek rahibeninki... Mecazi olarak: Kentteki en iyi kıç rahibeninki... nun = rahibe... near-by = yakınlardaki... convent = manastır (rahibeler için)... Rahipler için = monastery...

The Bishop fainted.

PİSKOPOS BAYILDI...

He informed the Nun she would have to dispose of the Donkey. She found a farmer who was willing to buy the animal for $10.00. The next day the paper stated:

"NUN PEDDLES ASS FOR $10.00"

Gazetedeki Manşet = Rahibe eşeği 10 dolara satıyor... Mecazi olarak: Rahibe kıçını sokaklarda 10 dolara satıyor... to dispose of = başından atıp kurtulmak... stated = dedi, diyordu... to peddle = seyyar satıcılık yapmak...

They buried the Bishop the next day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ERTESİ GÜN PİSKOPOSU GÖMDÜLER...

 

seks fıkraları 05     yabancı fıkralar     seks fıkraları 07

 

 

 
 

Yabancı XXX Fıkra: Türkçe Açıklamalı İngilizce XXX Fıkralar, World's Funniest XXX Jokes, Kesinlikle Dünyanın En Komik XXX Fıkraları,

Doç. Dr. Yalçın İzbul, "Practical English For Turks"

   Copyrighted 2001-2014

 WEBSİTE     TESTLER     KARİKATÜR     EĞLENCE

 
ingilizce seti süper

fikralar     .SÜPER İNGİLİZCE EĞİTİM SETİ.   fikralari

ingilizce seti süper

TIKLAYINIZ... Ayrı Pencere Açılacaktır